Hi Mom,
I miss you like crazy. All the time. Don’t worry, I’m still moving on with my life, especially because I know you’d come back and kick my ass if I sat around feeling sorry for myself. But it still sucks.
So much is happening right now that I want you to be a part of. The wedding, more than anything. I know one of our biggest problems when you were here was how independent and stubborn I could be, but right now I really need my mom. Don’t worry, I’ve got an incredible support system around me, but it still hurts to know that you’ll never see me in my dress, or clip my veil into my hair.
I think you’d really love what we’re doing with the wedding- it is completely us. And you will be there. In the plates, the flowers, in our hearts and laughter, you will be there. I just wish, more than anything, that you could be there in person to tell me how proud you are. I know you have always been proud of me, but I never realized how much hearing those words meant until I couldn’t hear them anymore.
I love you, Mom. So incredibly much. And I am so proud and so happy that I got to be your daughter, even though 22 years just wasn’t enough. But you will always be with me. Today, on my wedding day, when your grandchildren are born, I will always take you with me- you are a part of me.
I love you, Mom. And I hope that wherever you are, that you’re dancing the night away with Dad, with Sadie next to you wagging her tail to the beat.
Same Moon,
Your daughter
J,
I admire you for your strength of character, and for the person you have become and for how you have coped with the loss of your Mum at such a young age.
I lost my Mum a few weeks ago, she was in her early 80's, it's still not hit me yet.
But reading your post makes me realise just how cruel and unfair life can be at times.
Take care and think of the good things in the past.
Steve
*hugs*
I am coming up on the 5th anniversary of my father's death, so I've been thinking about him a lot lately (though I always think about him). I was lucky enough to have him at my wedding, though just barely. It was only nine months after that he passed. And since then I've lost all but one grandparent. It's tough – but you are strong. And as you said, she will be there with you on your biggest (and not-so-biggest) days.
Thank you for your kind words. And I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mom- I had no idea. It will definitely take time to "hit," but just remember to accept and work through your emotions instead of letting them build up… it has certainly helped me.
Awe, thanks Kanalt. I'm so happy that you were able to have your dad at your wedding, even if he passed soon after.
And yes, she will always be there!